From: Marti XXXXX
Sent: Friday, May 29, 2009 11:10 AM
Subject: Fwd: Cowboy Bud
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. .
Now give me back my dog.
Friday, September 11, 2009
That Devil...he's SO CLEVER!
-----Original Message-----
From: James XXXXX
To: Betty xxxxx
Sent: Fri, Aug 14, 2009 10:57 pm
Subject: FW: Satan's Meeting!!!!!!
--- On Fri, 8/14/09, xxxxx, Jack CMSgt USAF xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx <xxxxx@xxxxx.af.mil> wrote:
From: xxxxx, Jack CMSgt USAF xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx <xxxxx@xxxxx.af.mil>
Subject: FW: Satan's Meeting!!!!!!
Date: Friday, August 14, 2009, 2:02 PM
WOW, THIS IS VERY DEEP. PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY WORD!!!!!!
Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said,
"We can't keep Christians from going to church."
"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth...."
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with Their SAVIOR."
"Once they gain that connection with JESUS, our power over them is Broken."
"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship With JESUS CHRIST.."
"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:
"Distract them from gaining hold of their SAVIOR and maintaining that Vital connection throughout their day!"
"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.
"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable Schemes to occupy their minds," he answered....
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.."
"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty Lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending time with their children."
"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from The pressures of work!"
"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."
"Entice them to play the radio or I-Pod whenever they drive.." To Keep the TV, DVDs, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see To it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music Constantly."
"This will jam their minds and break that union with CHRIST."
"Fill the coffee tables with20magazines and newspapers."
"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."
"Invade their driving moments with billboards."
"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and Every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services And false hopes."
"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands Will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll Become dissatisfied with their wives. "
"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."
"Give them headaches too! "
"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to Look elsewhere.."
"That will fragment their families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the Real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about HIS resurrection And power over sin and death..."
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."
"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."
"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on GOD'S creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies Instead."
"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"
"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and Small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek Power from JESUS."
"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health And family for the good of the cause.."
"It will work!"
"It will work!"
It was quite a plan!
The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere To get busier & more rushed, going here & there.
Having little time for their GOD or their families.
Having no time to tell others about the power of JESUS to change lives.
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?
You be the judge!!!!!
Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?
Please pass this on, if you aren't too BUSY!
I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they love JESUS.
Do You Love HIM?
From: James XXXXX
To: Betty xxxxx
Sent: Fri, Aug 14, 2009 10:57 pm
Subject: FW: Satan's Meeting!!!!!!
--- On Fri, 8/14/09, xxxxx, Jack CMSgt USAF xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx <xxxxx@xxxxx.af.mil> wrote:
From: xxxxx, Jack CMSgt USAF xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx <xxxxx@xxxxx.af.mil>
Subject: FW: Satan's Meeting!!!!!!
Date: Friday, August 14, 2009, 2:02 PM
WOW, THIS IS VERY DEEP. PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY WORD!!!!!!
Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said,
"We can't keep Christians from going to church."
"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth...."
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with Their SAVIOR."
"Once they gain that connection with JESUS, our power over them is Broken."
"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship With JESUS CHRIST.."
"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:
"Distract them from gaining hold of their SAVIOR and maintaining that Vital connection throughout their day!"
"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.
"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable Schemes to occupy their minds," he answered....
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.."
"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty Lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending time with their children."
"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from The pressures of work!"
"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."
"Entice them to play the radio or I-Pod whenever they drive.." To Keep the TV, DVDs, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see To it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music Constantly."
"This will jam their minds and break that union with CHRIST."
"Fill the coffee tables with20magazines and newspapers."
"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."
"Invade their driving moments with billboards."
"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and Every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services And false hopes."
"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands Will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll Become dissatisfied with their wives. "
"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."
"Give them headaches too! "
"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to Look elsewhere.."
"That will fragment their families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the Real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about HIS resurrection And power over sin and death..."
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."
"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."
"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on GOD'S creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies Instead."
"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"
"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and Small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek Power from JESUS."
"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health And family for the good of the cause.."
"It will work!"
"It will work!"
It was quite a plan!
The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere To get busier & more rushed, going here & there.
Having little time for their GOD or their families.
Having no time to tell others about the power of JESUS to change lives.
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?
You be the judge!!!!!
Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?
Please pass this on, if you aren't too BUSY!
I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they love JESUS.
Do You Love HIM?
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